Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
