suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
