Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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