"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
