I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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