So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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