Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
