You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
