dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
