Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
