I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
