That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Please don't give away my fajitas
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
