It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
