I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
