the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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