cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you made out with another girl for some wings
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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