Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
