Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
