normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
