Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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