in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
