Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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