I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
