Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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