i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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