yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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