when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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