Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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