Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My dick has a subreddit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
