I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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