i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
