Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
