Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
