you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
