He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
