Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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