i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
