I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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