Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
