they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
