I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
