i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
