Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I could fuck to npr.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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