I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need water and some morals
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
