So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
