one two three fourrrrnication!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
