Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
