Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
