What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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