Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
