I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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