were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
